First spiritual awakening

“Oh my God! What’s this?!”

The first time I experienced sight of the world as an exceptionally perfect, beautiful and complete place, it came quite by surprise! The intensity of this experience was incredible. The beauty observed was jaw dropping. I was in a state of utter and complete astonishment!

Somehow I have recognized in fractions over the years, that I was in some way personally responsible for holding myself outside of everything, separate from any believable sense of belonging or being worthy, welcomed or loved.

On this evening, in response to boredom, I desperately felt the need to discover and engage in some form of potential distraction and entertainment.

Having noted the intriguing name of a visiting band, I set off for the bar in search of relief from my suffering. I walked around the block a number of times, immersed in my smallness. The courage it took me to finally enter the club alone, was not found without significant effort.

Once inside, I was standing against the wall, near the exit door, and while charged by this feeling of unworthiness, I began to have an internal dialogue about it. It all seemed to occur quite suddenly. No sooner than when I began asking the question, “What is this sense of unworthiness?” – It happened!

The veil of conditioning was ripped from my experience.

The shift in perception was instantaneous and complete. There was only the overwhelming experience of awe and the wonder at “What is This? What is happening?!”

As I scanned around the room, probably looking a fool with my mouth agape, I was seeing a level of beauty and completeness that I never knew was even a remote possibility. It was a pure and untainted, natural vision of complete and perfect beauty.

After some time in this blissful state of witnessing, I saw a fight erupt on the far side of the room, and my peaceful and spacious awareness effortlessly accepted the shift, as a mere continuation of the perfection of the ‘existing’ moments of expression.

I watched myself leave the bar and walk down the street, with my head full of the new understanding that is ‘perfect’ in ‘any’ moment.

It was and is always, supported by the ‘universe’ in it’s exact current form. It’s very existence, as it is or was, eliminates any question of it being possible for it to be different. One cannot change a moment because it has already happened.

The moment can not be questioned. It can never be questioned, because the question would be a result of a time based interpretation and would apply only to that which has already passed. A question, would simply be contained in a new moment.

Any moment is perfect and this includes all expressions and occurrences, no matter how ‘ugly’ we may deem them to be.

Pure conscious, non-judgemental observation of the existing moment, regardless of it’s contents, is an infinitely and intensely beautiful experience.

The observation of this fight and my remaining peace with the vision, presented me with an interesting challenge. With this recognition that everything that happens is perfect, how can I learn to live at ease with human conflict, pain, war, and starvation etc?

It was several years of both intentional and unintentional seeking and journeying, before coming to an understanding that makes sense to me. This understanding was offered to me, graciously, by those luminant beings who have walked this path before me.

In the ancient spiritual teaching of India, called Vedanta, this vision beyond the veil, would be referred to as ‘The removal of ignorance.’ or an ‘Experience of Non-Duality.’ The entire world is seen as it is – the field of dharma, occurring in your awareness and not separate from it.

Some might call this ‘Oneness’ which is both correct and incorrect. Correct in that it indicates a non-dual reality, but incorrect in that it suggests there is a possibility of something other than ‘Oneness.’ The experience of other than oneness, is simply ignorance masking realization and sight of the truth. The Self, Awareness is infinitely first and all exists within it.

To sum it up:  “Consciousness was cleared of extraneous thoughts, ignorance, which left room for the pure consciousness that we are, to engage in an awakened experience. An experience without interpretation, judgement or projection.”

This entire event was brought about by one factor, a courageous willingness to stand separate from, to deeply question and objectify, one’s suffering program, rather than maintaining investment in it.


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